happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
