I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
