I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
