try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
