Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
