there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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