the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Holy sore nipples Batman
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
