You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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