I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
