There is no way he is gay with that hair.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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