I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
