But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
