me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
