Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
His nipple licking is glorious
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