So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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