The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
