what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
