I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
