3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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