my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
