drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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