i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
