let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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