hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
