I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
