i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
my poor anus
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
