i was born a porn star she said
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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