Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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