remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
id be glad to
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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