On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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