You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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