I must be too annoying 4 u.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can I color on your dick again?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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