we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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