You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The air was thick with penises
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
