Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
