Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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