didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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