We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
