another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
