I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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