"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
