I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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