Got a toothbrush?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
