YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
