We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
