woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
