To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
