I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i think my cat just said my name.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
