I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
