Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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