Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
