you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
